With Justice for ALL (quote from the pledge of allegience U.S.A.)
This is an informational website offering support not legal advise
DIVORCE AND CHILDREN
The Town Talk
Your Mail ....from Billy Miller, 487-6127, 3324 Laurel St., Alexandria, La. 71301
RE: "Divorce us alienating, disorienting for teens" by Amy Dickinson 1/3/2006
"Divorce always carries consequences" by Dr. Billy Graham 1/8/2006
Divorce has not solved the first marriage problem, so why do people do one? Selfishness and misinformation. God says, "I hate divorce" (Mal. 2:16) and that should be reason enough to not do one. God also commands, "Don't take a brother (sister understood) to court". There is no way to justify going against this clear command, to do something that God hates.
We just keep on wondering what is "wrong" with our young people today, but no one wants to admit the truth. Young people have seen the murder of home and family via divorce and they do not know what to do with it or about it.
Youth slain while selling candy! Teen kills three and wounds six after stabbing to death his mother! Columbine students gun down classmates! Youth flies airplane into office tower in Florida! Timothy McVay bombs Federal building in Oklahoma! Sadam Hussein murders thousands of Iraqi citizens! The common denominator: a broken family through divorce. What comes next? When does it end?
Divorce is ruining the lives of our young people. Divorce puts our children at the garbage dump with the leftovers, rubbish and trash of life. They have to live there, sleep there, breathe there, eat there, go to school there, work there.
Have you ever been in a smoke-filled room where everything and everyone smelled like smoke? The effects of divorce on children are similar. Divorce goes through the clothing, through the skin, all the way through every cubic inch of flesh to the very heart and soul of the children - and the mate that has been dumped.
Children have needs and two of their most basic needs are home and family from which to launch their lives. Without them they feel abandoned, rejected, hopeless, and unloved. Divorce says, "I don't care about your needs. My wants are more important." "I'm unhappy in this marriage" even though happiness is an attitude that God permits us to choose, not something that the mate can "deliver". "I don't love you any more" is direct disobedience to God's command to "Love one another". Why have you chosen to disobey?
When the children's need for parent, home, and family, and the spouse's need for mate, lover, and companion become more important than your wants, you'll go home. You will not be able to find happiness or anything else worthwhile outside of your marriage and your family. God designed it that way: one mate till death parts you. Adam and Eve were married for over 800 years with no one else to go to. That's the way God planned for marriage to be for all mankind.
Churches are guilty of not doing their part to strengthen marriages and families by failing to teach God's truths about the permanence of marriage. Too many are accepting divorces, catering to and coddling those doing the divorces, as though they are innocent, and abandoning those who have been divorced, as though they are guilty. There are weekly helps for divorce recovery, when recovery is a myth, but where are the weekly helps for reconciliation? God's word clearly states "Ours is a ministry of reconciliation". Adultery is a word that God uses to describe what is going on with those who marry a divorced person. When is the last time you heard this truth from the pulpits?
We do marriage God's way or it isn't marriage, it's adultery.
The joy and peace and contentment and love and all those other precious jewels that you are looking for are not found in the arms of someone else, in the company of bitter people or on the shopping shelves of life, but in the Lord Jesus Christ, while living with the family that He gave you.
Some will tell you to "get on with your life", but the rest of that sentence is "while you wait for your mate". Marriage is not a contract, it is a covenant with God, and He will work on it 24/7 to protect it. You may not be permitted to see the daily results, but the work goes on. It is for you to stand at the line of reconciliation for your marriage and trust Him to do His part to bring it about. This may take months, it may take years, depending on the spiritual attitude of both spouses. Some follow God closely, others follow Him afar off.
Work on marriage problems like two mature people should do. Anyone can quit, and quitters don't win. Winners don't quit. Focus on what brought you together. How do you stop the dreams? What do you do with the memories? Where do you file the plans that you made together for the future? What do you tell your heart, the children, but especially God, about promising to be there "in the bad times" "till death parts us", and then trashing those promises?
You have been deceived by the lies of the deceived. You need to turn around -- go back --go home! Choose God's way. It's time for reconciliation!!!