The King's Gardeners Ministries

Reverend S. L. Gardner

Spokane Valley, Washington US

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Open Letter to Pastors

Dear Pastor,

_____ was recently presented with a petition of divorce from her husband. She's chosen to stand for her marriage to be restored. Some within the church have suggested that she join the singles group, possibly because they don't have the faith in God to believe that He can take a seemingly hopeless situation such as a troubled marriage and bring the prodigal spouse home and restore the marriage.

The last thing a stander needs is well meaning Christians to suggest we move on, get over it, join divorce recovery classes, etc. The call from God to stand for restoration of a marriage is not based on emotions, denial of the facts (and if you recall, Monty often stated that there is a distinct difference in fact and truth), or any other secular, flesh based emotion. The call to stand is from God Himself, placed within one's heart, and impossible to deny. If you will take some time and study Hosea 4:1-9, you will see that the prophet points out that it will be like PEOPLE like PRIEST. When I read that, the Holy Spirit pointed out to me that our priests, preachers, our Shepherds will become more concerned about pleasing man than pleasing God. And sadly, it's true.

I am very saddened that you never remind us that God can bless our marriages.. For me as a stander (since 1994), I need that reminder. And I was blessed weekly to hear Monty remind me of this.

Lastly, as women without our husband's presence and protection, we have to avoid all APPEARANCES OF EVIL. This is clearly stated in 1 Thess. 5:22. We do not need to be in the singles group because God knows we are married women, even if our husbands have chosen to stray (Please study the book of Jonah concerning free will and Hosea concerning adultery) . We answer to God for our choices and how those around us perceive our behavior. I have been doing this quite a bit longer than ____, and I can tell you when I told my neighbor recently that my husband thought I was doing something I shouldn't be doing, she fell out of her chair laughing saying over and over "You? Get real. You never do anything." This told me that I have set a good example for those watching me, and there are many watching me and think I'm "off" because I do live alone and have not chosen the world's solution and gotten myself involved with other men. And not only that, when my husband comes home, he won't have to deal with my choices to sin and live with the uncertainty of my behavior while he was in the far country.

Please be sensitive to those of us who cannot be categorized or pigeonholed for the convenience of the leadership. We are the first fruits of a high calling, and just because you see us hurting, and we do get hurt in this, remember what is also written in Psalm 119:65-72. Yes, in all truth, it is a good thing that we are afflicted, because our affliction has forced us to seek out our Lord and grow closer to Him than we would have had satan not chosen to target our marriages and families.


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