The King's Gardeners Ministries
Reverend S. L. Gardner
Spokane, Washington US
Blended Families - A True Story
From: VICKIE ARMSTRONG
Date: Tue Oct 29, 2002 7:07 pm
Subject: more on blended families
You know, my husband, came from several blended families. His mother was married five times. Each time the new family became FAMILY. This is not your stepsister, she is your SISTER...not your stepbrother, but your BROTHER, etc and they are to be treated as such. My husband and his siblings were told to "blend" and if they did not wish to "blend" then they were the ones who were wrong. They were intolerant, unforgiving, unaccepting, not flexable...UNCHRISTIAN.
Oh, yes, in order to pursue the blended family lie our own christianity is turned against us. Doesn't the bible say to forgive, doesn't it tell you to not judge?
So my husband blended until the divorce when this family was cast aside for the new family and then he was told to blend again. Each time he was told to give his loyality to new family members, told to develop family ties. You must, it would not be kind if you didn't, YOU will be hurting the feelings of others, YOU will be dividing the family, YOU will be the one making everyone uncomfortable. For the sake of the family and Christmas get-togethers you must tolerate this.
Fast forward twenty-five years. Now my husband has a family of his own. But
families are easily cast aside and new families made. He now has a new family
and he wants to blend. He says to the children "I just wish that YOU could
get past all of this so that we can be a family again." The destruction
of our family is no longer due to him but to the intolerance of his children.
Never mind that he is a with a woman that has no regard for the feelings of
his children, who sought to destroy everything that they had to pursue her own
interest. "She is very nice, just get to know her, you haven't given her
a chance". Never mind that they and their mother struggled for the last
three years with very little help financial or otherwise. Never mind that he
left family to pursue this new life and now WANTS family but only on his terms,
only if they accept this. Forgive and
forget, let by gones be by gones, happily ever after we go off into the sunset. Tra-la-la
We as christians must realize that we cannot allow the tenents of
forgivness, turning the other cheek and judge not to be used against us in order to promote sinful activities. In no way was this what Jesus taught. Yes, he said love our enemies but he also said to be wary for he was sending us as sheep among wolves. I do not think that he ever intended that we allow sinful activites to run rampant in order to remain kind and loving towards our neighbor.
The concept of a blended family as the balm of tolerance to cure the ravages and distruction of divorce is false. Look to the legacy of my husband's family for your proof. He did not learn unconditional loving tolerance. He learned to bend to the inevitablity of sin. He learned of disposable people. He learned that love does not endure all things, it only lasts for a season, is disposed of and cast off.
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