The King's Gardeners Ministries

Reverend S. L. Gardner

Spokane, Washington US

What Convictions really like

from Betty Murphy

When I was away from God these are only some of the things I experienced:

1. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS...Knowing that I was living in sin caused me many hours of wakefulness ...which in turn made me grouchy and ill during the day...without sleep, we take on a sour demeanor.

2. as I was living, I'd see a respected Minister & his wife, or church member and I'd duck out of sight to avoid the shame of them seeing me living in such sin.

3. FEAR... being out of fellowship with God I'd cry and repent and pray for my sons healing, finances to be met (and they were answered)... BUT the FEAR of KNOWING that as King David plotted to sin I too did NOT have the courage to leave my sin behind and remaining in the situation I was in, caused FEAR for my life, my children's lives, etc... FEAR causes you to act WEIRD...

4. DREAD...I lived in dread ... dread of living out of the will of God and what that meant...When you're living in the will of God, you're covered by his mercy, love, and protection.

5. DESIRE to CHANGE...desiring to return to the Gods perfect will, sometimes causes a person to take on a split going to the bar on Saturday night, returning home about 2 am crying out for Gods mercy and then dragging yourself out of bed early on Sunday morning to sneak onto a back pew in a new church (so no one would recognize you)...

6. SHAME...Each time a sibling would say "Dad's praying and fasting for you. says he won't eat or rest again until you're back in Gods perfect will"...really this brought shame to me that I was NOT living as God desired for me to live.

PRAISE GOD for HIS MERCY and everlasting LOVE to me.

AND I Praise HIM for bringing my beloved husband home and now HE wants to attend church with me.

May God Bless You all.


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