The King's Gardeners Ministries
Reverend S. L. Gardner
Spokane Valley, Washington US
Articles used by permission or are public domain
Wisdom from the Word - Thank you Vic Armstrong
Interestingly, David spares Sauls life in a similar way in both 1 Sam 24 and 26. But the story in this word is from is the one in Chapter 26.
If this were a play, I would probably assign the characters this way...Saul-our spouses, David-us, Abishai(David's Companion)-our flesh and others who may advise us, Abner(Saul's general)- the other man or woman. And if the word anointed trips you up you can use the word beloved instead.
What I found interesting about this story is that David was not circumstancial or situational in making his decision. He very well could have interpreted the event as "God has given me this opportunity, has placed it into my hands. That must mean he is telling me that it it ok to kill Saul". Which is how his companion saw it. Instead he relied on integrity, honor and what he knew to be God's word concerning the treatment of the king. And instead of seeing a situation in which God had acted favorably in David's behalf, apparently answering his prayer concerning the one who was causing him such pain, allowing David to see this as an allowable exception, David instead saw it as an opportunity for HIM to act favorably and to prove to Saul that he would not harm him.
Often in dealing with our spouses it is just as important to prove to them
that we mean them no harm. For how else do we expect to be reconciled and restored?
Why do we often think that God will work a restoration for us when we continue
to act in opposition to our spouses? And often when an opportunity arises that
allows us to take a victory over them, we take it believing that it was God
given because of the circumstances, an answer to prayer, a sign of God's favor.
We decide that God is allowing an exception in our case because the situation
warrants it. And has even delivered them into our hands proving to us that this
is what God wants us to do. Rather we should rely on what God's word has always
been instead of what the situation may appear to allow or offer us. Another
interesting thing is that Saul was not alone, he was
surrounded by Abner and his men. But David refrained from killing them also. At times in order to prove to our spouses that we mean them no harm, we also have to refrain from harming the other person that they are with.
I think that the word Adrienne gave was meant to speak to a specific situation that one or more standers in our group may be facing in regards to their spouses but even so I think that we all can apply it to our own marriage stands. Our job is to do no harm to our spouses. It is not for us to punish or seek retribution. It is not even for us to convict or point out how wrong they are or bring them to their senses. It is not for us to force better behavior through tough tactics. It may not even be for us to contend with them in court issues. It is God's place to contend with their behavior and not ours. By acting in this way we show them that they are safe in returning to us and will also prove that the other person they are with may not be as safe or beneficial to them as they may think (see Abner's role).
David was the anointed future King of Isreal. The kingdom had been promised to him. Yet he did not take the opportunity to take what was rightfully his by force. Instead he relied on God's ability to fulfill His own promises. We also cannot take by force even when we may have a right to. We must remember that God has promised us restoration and has the ability to fulfill His promises. We must also remember that God's Word is not situational or circumstancial. If God has said restoration over our marriage and has asked restoration from us, then our behavior follows the Word of restoration and does not change because our situation does. In other words we act with restoration in mind and do not do things that
contend with or put us in opposition to our spouses. We remember what God's word is over all and do not make our determination of what His will is by what the situation may present, allow an exception for or prove otherwise.
Hope this helps in applying this to both genders, Jon.
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