The King's Gardeners Ministries
Reverend S. L. Gardner
Spokane, Washington US
- Provision in the Hard Times and Great Wisdom Learned the Hard Way -
True Story provided by Joy D.
I am a stander with God for my marriage of 24-1/2 years, or if you, like God does not recognize the worldly divorce, a marriage of 26 years and 3 months. I hope this helps others in their stand. I used to look at circumstances, however after really dedicating my life to God's will, I have really been able to live above circumstances in my life. Good thing because the world's view of what has transpired in my life, has been tragic at best. And many people would not want to stand for the marriage. But, God has spoken and I am listening with both ears to keep his will in my situation.
My husband was in complete turmoil when he decided he wanted to leave. I was financially irresponsible with our funds, and going to college on top of that. He also was irresponsible but, that is not the point anymore. Our daughter had moved 60 miles away and had gotten herself into trouble with finances, therefore I took money from our living expenses to help her (at the time, I thought I was helping). In reality I was enabling her to be irresponsible. She needed money quickly and I took my husbands truck payment (which was already 1 month late), and gave her the money so she would not be picked up for writing bad checks. I was juggling finances so bad it finally caught up with me. They came and repossessed his truck. That happened January 28, 1998. I will never forget that day as long as I live. That was the day all the misery anybody could ever live with began. I found out my husband had a girlfriend shortly thereafter, and he remained in the home. He made life miserable as he was at that time. I had the guilt of a lifetime on my shoulders. Writing this is as good for me and my repentance (although I have apologized to my husband, and he has since accepted my apology)
To begin with, he left and moved up to my daughters' home (60 miles away). He brought his girlfriends to her house which created a huge rift between her and I. She was to get married within a few months of her father moving up there. The really sad thing about all this is the boy she was to marry, his father also was caught cheating on his mother the week before her dad, therefore with all those things happening, they felt they could not get married.
My daughter was getting deeper and deeper in debt and was getting into severe trouble. Her fiancée found out and they broke up. She was pregnant at the time. Things got worse until she called me and I went up and found her on the floor having a breakdown. She was totally mixed up with all she was doing, all her father was doing in her home, and the break up. I brought her home, and got her back on her feet. I later found out she had stolen + 8000.00 from the company she worked for. I sat with her while we called them and then the police, and told them what she did. They came and got her in cuffs and took her to jail. That was the experience that changed her life. God took a hold of her from that moment on and she has lived with him every moment. I helped her pay off all the debt because she took responsibility for all of it and made it right by everybody. She did the right things. Later she would have a son.
In the meantime, my husband told her and her sisters he was going to counseling for marriage reconciliation. He also said he was talking with a pastor. That turned out to be not true. For 11 months we believed he was coming home only to find out Satan was at work up where he remained living. He moved in with another woman, and her daughter, plus was coming home every weekend pretending he was coming home. He did this for 6 months. So when the truth finally came out, it was devastating to all of us.
My other two daughters ran wild at this time. They were being handfuls also. Things were getting out of control. I then received a letter from the other woman telling me to move on with my life etc etc. In the meantime my husband was calling me 8-10 times a day demanding I divorce him. I would not. While this was going on during the holiday season, my daughters wanted nothing to do with my husband at all because he was trying to insinuate the other woman on them. Then we really got a bad piece of news, my daughter then (22) had breast cancer. After all she had been through with her break up with her fiancée and her father's bad behavior, she now had breast cancer.
Her father continued to call even her home, knowing what she was going through
to harass me about a divorce. I still would not sign. Satan really hit my family
hard during this time. She had surgery 2 days before Christmas and we were unsure
if they had gotten all the cancer during that surgery. At this point, I found
out what true humility was. Watching your child take chemotherapy treatments
truly makes you a humble person. I cried inside all the time. I lost my good
job at this time because of days missed, however she and her son needed me.
I never told my daughter this is why I lost the job.
During this time, I had many many things wrong at my home the other girls and I lived in. I knew the other man for a long time. He and his wife were acquaintances of my husbands and mine. I had given a pup to his son. They had been divorced and I did not know. About 2 years ago I stopped standing for my marriage. Although I stopped standing I still prayed for my husband.
Satan sent the other man to steal my heart, my dream, and my peace. I thought it was a blessing from God, it turned out to be a nightmare from hell. I called the other man when I found out his wife had been cheating and told him if I could do anything for him please let me know. He stopped over and asked me if I could use any help with fixing the things that were really bad at my house. The pump had broken for my water and I had none and several other things happened. Satan really knows how to make things happen. And from that point forward, he came over all the time. In that process, he talked me into signing the divorce papers (the last day of the 90 for no-fault). He talked me into moving into his apartment building, and fixing it up. I stopped standing for my marriage, and in that process my husband got married to other woman and I was stuck in his apartment building with cockroaches and cold. The other man found another girl, with 5 kids that he moved into his home within a week of telling me it was over. What was really amazing was God was still working on my situation although I was not praying to very often about it.
When the other man dumped me, my husband was the one that followed me and found me to talk with me and comfort me. I also was without a home, a vehicle, and a job. This was 7 months ago. He talked Satans' plan for me. That included signing the divorce papers, and sell my house (he supported it, actually he wanted to light a match to it) I live in a mobile home on property. I then moved into one of his apartments and re-did the building for him. At my expense mind you. It was a dump with less than clean apartment dwellers. I lived in cockroaches and cold dwelling for several months. I ended up bartending (because I could get no other job) for a few months to get money to pay him for the utilities in the apartment.
To make a long story short, the people that had bought my home were not paying me, and things were getting worse and worse with my daughters. They were running ramped, the middle one was then pregnant, and I was 35 miles from no-where. The man was getting mad about the girls expectations for me to take care of them, he wanted me to move into his house with him (I would not do that) and when a young girl moved in with him, well needless to say, I had no dumpy apartment, no vehicle, and no job to help me get my home back because of lack of payment. I had nothing! I don't know how I got through all that except God took care of me.
Less than 1 short month ago did I get a job and a vehicle 10 days ago. I was dumped yet again by a person that needs to find God for himself, a second daughter pregnant and unmarried with no money and no home. I spoke to my husband, and he helped me get the people out of my home, after a month of no home, and it took me forever to get it into shape to live in. The people that lived here even stole my furnace! Not to mention broke most of the windows, left several cats in the house which made it full of fleas.
The cabinets I found in the woods along with all the inside doors and flooring (carpeting) they had stripped the home and I did not even know the place when I went in. I cried and prayed for a day, and God put me to work on my house and situation! I do not know how but, I got the money for Clorox and then paint and wood for the floors, and everyday it was a little more and a little more.
After 3 months of no job, and hard work, my place is almost finished. When the place was livable, my daughter moved home with me. She was staying with her sister while I stayed here to work on it. My husband called me almost every day, and he even wanted me to ride with him, while working (I did this once) Just when I was about finished with the house, God provided me with a job that I could not have asked for a better place to work, better people to work with, and money that I could only dream about. After a week of that the lord provided me with a 2000 truck so I could get in and out of my driveway during the winter. The one I wanted, not only what I needed but my hearts desire.
So you see when our Lord is done refining you (as he did with me), you will appreciate being able to go to the grocery store, and getting a few groceries. You will appreciate laughter and people. You will really appreciate having a 1/4 tank of gas in a vehicle that God will provide for you. Believe me, he took everything from me, so that I would appreciate each and every thing he gave me from a bite of food to a floor to sleep upon, to a job to a vehicle. I promise you he works, not the way we envision, but the outcome it amazingly more than we could ever have envisioned for ourselves... I think the Lord is doing for you what he did for me.
But, the greatest thing of all in the story is; God took a dead relationship
with my husband and put us back together to get back my home. We went back to
a time when we were happy together. I got my glimpse of why I was standing with
God for this marriage. You see he called me all the time, and came to see me
and help me in several ways and I truly knew exactly what God has in mind for
my marriage. He wants a full restoration of Tony and Joy together with their
children and grandchildren. Our great Father in heaven showed me first hand
had in store for me.
In the worlds' eye, the marriage is over. He has moved on with another woman, put up a house, and is having a baby in April. However, I know the truth. And that truth is our marriage will be restored. I know our Great Father is working on my husband because he had to be taken from his job to the hospital in an ambulance. He was having anxiety attacks. The lord works in mysterious ways, and I know what it took for him to have those in years gone by.
To all the other standers, I am sorry I backslid. I learned exactly what it was the Lord wanted for me. I hope me telling this will help somebody know the lord does bless us and he does hear our prayers. You all prayed for all these things for me during this time. My way of looking at things is; when I start feeling sorry for myself, I just look at people less fortunate than myself. I help them if possible, and I give until it hurts. In giving to others, you are also giving to yourself. So, next time you want to have a pity party, just think of others less fortunate. If I can find others less fortunate, so can you. Amen.
Amen...I am a stander along side of God waiting for my miracle to happen. I know it will because God loved me enough to show me.
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